C24

In the past year, our transit authority has, with wisdom both infinite and unknowable, deigned to replace the buses on less trafficked routes with community shuttles (such as on the C24 route). While in principle this seems sound, I have discovered from riding one route, that these things are death traps.

Each community shuttle appears solid on the outside when standing still, but in motion the entire vehicle shakes and rattles. The walls are thin and (from what I can see) made primarily from one piece of too-thin-for-comfort plastic. Sound vibrates through its frame, amplifying and carrying into every passenger’s ears. The seats are comfortable enough, but when a person who is larger (in any area of the body, be shoulders or gut) than the planned ‘average’ is seated next to any other person, the ride becomes an exercise in serious discomfort. The walkway between the seats is exceedingly thin and awkward, even when clear of standees. The wheelchair device in the back is rarely if ever secured properly, and clatters about throughout the ride. When it is used for it’s intended purpose, the hydraulics are slow at best, slug-like at worst, taking up to 5 minutes to load a wheel chaired passenger aboard and get going once more. Worst of all is its schedule. The posted times are a joke, the shuttle (the C24 route at any rate) is anywhere from 1 to 15 minutes late, and as it only runs every 30 minutes, can cause incredible delays for the unfortunate patron of Translink who happens to live in a serviced area.

In short, these community shuttles DON’T WORK WELL ENOUGH. I understand that Translink merely wishes to save money by not devoting an entire bus (and a driver who has a class of license 1 higher than the shuttle drivers) to a route that is not heavily trafficked, but when these attempts to cut costs end up making almost every ride (or attempted ride, as one may almost never catch one) an experience to remember (poorly). For a solution, I offer: a) Revising the schedules and better ensuring their drivers make their stops ON TIME; b) Replacing the inadequate shuttles currently driving the route with something steadier and quieter for the rider; c) Returning those routes to regular buses. To quote one of my favourite high school teachers, this current system is “No workie”.

Will the real good samaritan please stand up!

So, who here loves the rain? Is there anyone? Come now, there must be some among you who can appreciate what others would call horrid weather. Well, I for one love a good downpour. It is those times when you can see human generosity hardest at work. Take, for example, the date of January 22nd, 2007. Ah, I remember it as if it were yesterday...

It was the evening's threshold and I had only begun my journey home. My bus was nowhere near arrival and already my jacket was soaked, but I didn't mind. Soon enough it had come and I had taken my seat--at the back of the bus, no less--in eager anticipation of the adventurous ride home which awaited me; however, as any fellow SFU student will attest, it is seldom an enjoyable experience riding the express in abysmal weathers. Even within the confines of the coveted rear section I found myself being invaded by countless other bodies, damp and groaning from the pains which the tempest had wrought on them. It was anything but pleasant. It was also anything but sterile, but I digress...

Upon our arrival to the Production Way Skytrain Station all was quiet at the platforms. So, not wishing to disturb our fellow classmates with useless pushing and prodding, we all disembarked in a most orderly and civilized fashion; that is, of course, after the initial pushing and prodding which occurred while everyone collectively vied to be first off the bus, and subsequently first to set foot on the empty platforms.

Goodness, what an honour that one young woman had, being the first to realize she'd have to wait for her train. Oh, and the further honor of being the first person to be mobbed by a horde of exiting Skytrain passengers.

"Crazy like a fox," indeed.

Now, it is at this point, once my comrades and I have been evolutionarily demoted to the rank of mere sardines, when I begin to see this "human generosity" at work. Normally, when 50 bodies are compressed into a space no larger than your typical can of ravioli, you would not expect many an empty seat, right? Well, if you answered yes, I would have to declare you overwhelmingly wrong. The reality was quite the opposite, actually.

It was amazing. Grown men and women, equally thrashed by the storm, refused to sit down. Empty seats everywhere and these brave, courteous, obstinate people refused to take one, surely for fear that one of their elders may board and find no place to rest. Many a "normal" person would condemn this act, arguing that countless more people could be allowed on board, or at least the de-sardineification of us all. Well, woe to you, cranky John and Jane Doe; woe to you, leg-weary traveller, for these people will never stop standing up for what they believe in. They will never allow the heady weight of "common sense" to bring them down, and God darn it, isn't that how it should be? Gaze, my friends. Look on in reverence as these people continue to defy logic day after day. It is these people which are making a brighter tomorrow for all of us, even if they have to stand during the rain to do it. Kudos to you, human generosity. If all this is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Begin with the end...of the bus.

I am convinced that there is some sort of ward, some sort of aggressive barrier in place that prevents a good portion of the everyday masses from entering the furthermost area of the bus. This area is commonly known as "the back", and having such a humbled name, you would expect that more people would set down there, but the reality is quite the opposite. In fact, on average, I would say that the proportion of people situated at the front of the bus compared to the back is nearly three to one.

So what is the cause for this anomaly, you may ask? I have asked myself this very same question many a time, and have endeavored long to find an answer. What have I discovered?

Nothing.

I have found no logical or rational explanation for this phenomenon of human behaviour. There have been several hypotheses concocted by me and my crack team of scientists, which all seemed perfectly valid, but were each equally incapable of explaining everyone's behaviour. So, since logic seems to have abandoned the masses, I have opted for an illogical explanation for this matter.

Yes, that must be the case! There must be some sort of seal placed upon the rear seating area of each bus, regulating the comers and goers like the semi-permeable membrane of a human cell.

Only a chosen few may enter...

That must have been Translink's gambit: an elitist bus-section, a place where only the best of the best, the greatest of the greatest may go, genius! Who would have ever thought that by simply sitting at the rear of the bus, farthest from all the possible exits, you could elevate yourself to a level beyond that of any mere mortal, amazing! Translink, look what you've given us. Now there can finally be separation at last. The haves at last have a home, and what a home it is, with it's chrome-polished interior and heated seats, oh what joy! Kudos to you Translink. May this deed be remembered always!

Hey hey

Hey folks, the blog is now set up for our ENGL 101 assignment, and here is the schedule of required posts. Remember, you are responsible for your two other required posts:

Josh Jan 15-20
Zach Jan 21-27
Max Jan 28-Feb 3
Vincent Feb 4-10
Magnus Feb 11-17
Josh Feb 18-24
Zach Feb 25-Mar 3
Max Mar 4-10
Vincent Mar 11-17
Magnus Mar 18-24